I Know
by Seirei
Summary: What if the one you love loves someone else and thinks of you only as a friend? What if you know that they don't really love the one they think they do? What if your patience is wearing thin? A bittersweet songfic to Fiona Apple's "I Know".


Disclaimer: Watashi suru nai motsu nandemo (I do not own anything at all). They belong to J.K. Rowling and several large corporations; I'm merely borrowing them for a bit. Don't sue, please!  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Okay, I was listening to the song "I Know" by Fiona Apple and this just sort of popped into my head. I had a pairing in mind when I wrote this, but I won't tell, I want to know what pairing you think it is. Tell me how this speaks to you. I find it rather sad, but that's how the song is, bittersweet and beautiful.  
  
  
  
  
  
I Know  
  
  
  
So be it, I'm your crowbar  
  
If that's what I am so far  
  
Until you get out of this mess  
  
It's some mess you've managed to get yourself into. And I thought you were good at getting into trouble at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is nothing when compared to this. And, yet, I don't leave; I can't leave. I play the part in your life that you dictate for me and I hope. I always hope.  
  
Funny, isn't it? How long hopes can survive, even without anything real to back them up? You never show the slightest interest in me and yet I hope that someday you will. It's completely irrational, I know that, but I do remember a time when you smiled at me with love. Do you remember that time, too? Then again, it's quite likely that you've blocked it out, tried your damndest to forget it. I can't blame you for that; I would probably have done the same, were I in your shoes.  
  
And I will pretend  
  
That I don't know of your sins Until you are ready to confess But all the time, all the time I'll know, I'll know  
  
You tell me so much, and yet, you won't tell me the things I need to know. You act as though I am oblivious to the secrets you keep from me. But, I'm not. I go along with it, I pretend, I allow you to have your secrets, but I know all of it without having been told. I know. Life is like that sometimes, I think, cruel and so terribly ironic. I know the things I shouldn't and you don't know the things you should. It would be comical, if it weren't so pitiless.  
  
And you can use my skin  
  
To bury secrets in And I will settle you down  
  
Sometimes, I wonder why you tell me your secrets, why you chose me. There are things you can't tell me, but you persist in telling me everything else. You always trust me implicitly; I don't think you've ever wondered if I was telling anyone the things you tell me, not even once. It's so strange to be trusted like that, I'm not certain that I like it, the responsibility of it, that is. But, I will do nothing to stop it, it calms you, I think, having me to confide in, and that I wouldn't trade for all the world.  
  
And at my own suggestion  
  
I will ask no questions While I do my thing in the background But all the time, all the time I'll know, I'll know  
  
I never question you anymore; I used to question you, before. Yes, before, back when I had some control over my life, back before my heart decided that only you were good enough. Now, I don't question, I don't ask, I go blindly along with you, spinning wildly into hell. I don't say anything at all, I do everything I do from the background, I fade dully into the woodwork. And I don't care; I really don't care.  
  
Baby-I can't help you out, while she's still around So for the time being, I'm being patient And amidst this bitterness If you'll just consider this-even if it don't make sense All the time-give it time  
  
I want to help you, I want to save you, I want to get you out of this trouble. But, I can't, not with her in your life. You think you love her, I know better, you don't love her, you never did. I love you, and, somewhere, deep down, you love me, too. And, my love, my patience is wearing thin, I'm trying, desperately, I'm trying, but you won't even consider my propositions. I so wish you'd leave her and come back to me, that's all I want. Is it really so much to ask?  
  
And when the crowd becomes your burden And you've early closed your curtains, I'll wait by the backstage door  
  
Someday, you're going to tire of the people, of the life you lead. And, when that happens, I'll be waiting with open arms. Waiting for you. I won't come to you, though; you'll have to come to me. Will you know where to look? Or will you go away without giving me a chance?  
  
While you try to find the lines to speak your mind And pry it open, hoping for an encore  
  
When that distant day comes, try to tell me exactly what I mean to you. Try, for me. I'll still want to know.  
  
And if it gets too late, for me to wait For you to find you love me, and tell me so It's ok, don't need to say it.  
  
~Finish~ 


End file.
